Wordless Wednesday

Yeah I’m cheating because my pictures has words. I don’t care!

“I Can’t”

My last post was about how great I did (or at least I feel I did!) in my 5K. Now for the part that was not so great….

I hate being told I can’t do anything, and I will get fairly wound up if someone tells me that. For that same reason I try really hard to avoid saying “I can’t” about anything.

Coming up to the hills in the race Bee said “we’ll just take them really slow, but don’t stop and walk” and I said “yes I can do that”. I’ve had practice on hills, I knew I could manage. But half way down the second hill? I was struggling to breathe. Instead of saying “I need to walk for a minute”, I simply stopped running and said “I can’t”. The same thing happend at the 4K mark. Nothing more than “I can’t”

When we approached the point of the sprint finish I said it again when the sprint was suggested. That was where I got annoyed. Annoyed at Bean for pushing me so damn hard! And annoyed at myself for saying “I can’t” so often in such a short space of time.

In reality there is nothing that I can’t do. Except fly, I’ll give you that one. Or breathe under water. But I digress! Plenty that I don’t want to do for sure! But NOTHING that I can’t.

I work hard to ensure that diabetes doesn’t impact my life too forcefully. I am lucky to be living in the UK where my health care is free and I have a ready supply of insulin and the ability to test my blood sugar as often or as little as I want. 100 years ago I would have been dead by now. I have been given a gift that allows me to live, so I need to stop letting the “I can’t” hold me back!

Th Balmoral Races

Today was the big day, my first 5K!

It was being held in the grounds of Balmoral castle, but the queen didn’t feel like running with us apparently. It’s about 1.5 hrs from where I live so it was an early start.

I met my friend there and we stretched before heading to the start line. BG was 7.1 so I had 10g of haribo to ward off a hypo on my way round the track.

I chose not to run with my BG meter. I am comfortable doing this as it is a short track (didn’t feel like it though) with guides the whole way around. I have good hypo awareness and carried plenty haribo just in case 🙂

I was persuaded bullied into starting at the 25-30 minute marker. We set off at a decent pace, about 30s/km faster than I usually aim for but the adrenaline was there to keep me going.

The first km was no problem, the start of the 2nd brought the first hill. We powered on up it but I was starting to flag a bit by the next hill. I managed to keep going until the 3km marker, where I wanted to collapse, but we slowed to a power walk for about 100m. A gentle decline helped!

4km came and I stopped to walk again, a brief 10m so I could catch my breath and assess if I was hypo or not. I wasn’t so we pushed on.

The last 100m was horrific. We had previously agreed to have a good sprint finish and end on a high. The marker came and Bean reminded me of this. I think I only managed to grunt at her. She suggested just trying to chase down the girls in front of us, I said no way. I was convinced I was about to throw up! I then thought screw it, lets do this! And bolted. I had no idea I could move so fast!

Bean had taken my last no as a final answer, so she was busy waving at the crowd. All I heard was “Kim what the f*ck?!” As she saw me streak away. I’ve no idea how far behind she was by the time I crossed the line. I considered passing out there and then but apparently it wasn’t an option. I collected my medal and tshirt before FINALLY being handed some water. It was around then that I realised I hadn’t switched off my stopwatch.

The official timing hasn’t been released yet, I timed a 34:18 so I’m hoping it’s 33:30 or somewhere in that region. My previous PB was 38:45 so I made a big improvement 😊

Finishing BG was 10.1. I had a marshmallow crispie because I knew it would continue to drop. In the car I chased that with another biscuit, but I still fell to 5.3 an hour and a half later. I’ve got an evening of monitoring ahead!

And now, I’ll nap. Until the next one in June…..

EDIT: Time confirmed as 31:52 woohoo!

337 Days and 11 Hours to Go

Operation Wedding Body has commenced.

Food: I eat far too much junk. I don’t want to lose weight per se, I would just like to reshape my body a bit and be a bit healthier! My bacon roll breakfasts have gone on too long!

When I was diagnosed my meal plans didn’t change dramatically for lunch and dinner, but breakfast was a sticking point. I never used to eat it, and that meant lots of graizing on cereal bars and other junk until lunch time came around. 11.30 would arrive and I’d be starving!

I was started on fixed doses (4u breakfast lunch and dinner initially, the endo didn’t anticipate my sensitivity!) and so suddenly had a requirement to eat breakfast. I used to eat porridge at the weekend sometimes so I incorporated this into my working day. A bowl of cereal with raisins and chopped nuts was my staple breakfast nearly every day until around November. I’m not sure what happened, but I suddenly lost the taste for it. Enter the bacon and hash brown roll!

Since I started eating breakfast I am now starving by 7am. Today I tried a healthier breakfast. I had an apple, 30g of almonds and some cheese. BG on waking was 8.9 mmol/l (160). I had really hoped that I would be super hungry again by 9am and therefore could justify the bacon roll but unfortunately I wasn’t. the fat in the nuts and cheese sustained me until. Dammit!

I also made a bit of a school boy error and forgot to bolus! Luckily it was a relatively low carb meal (I calculated 17g) and so I would only have taken 1 unit. Being a touch high before I started eating I assumed I’d be well into double figures, but at 11am I was 9.1. I’m not sure if that’s the honeymoon or the fat in the breakfast but it worked for me it seems! I am going to play about with variations of that and see how it works for me. Could be on to a winner! 

Also, has anyone tried almond butter? I’m not a fan of peanut butter but I’m having a bit of an almond phase at the moment. I’m going to get some these weekend and try it out spread on apple slices with some granola on top as a snack. I’ll keep you posted!

Exercise: My first “official” 5K is on Saturday. Forecast is for rain and high winds……. I’m obviously thrilled about that. With the nicer weather I have been trying to increase the regularity with which I run, this week is 3 runs and a long walk. So I am getting there. I’ve not really seen the progress I would have liked in my fitness, but my BG has stopped reacting so violently to the exercise which I think is a good thing? 

JHogg caught me in a moment of weakness yesterday while I was hypo and suggested me book a 10K for Autumn so I have my next target to train for. Keep the motivation levels up. Debate is currently between The Great Scottish Run and the Inverness 10K. If anyone is running this year or has run either of those in the past then let me know! I am wanting as flat as possible if I’m going to even consider doing this! 

I also need to start doing some floor work to improve my stomach muscles (I’m not even sure I have any). You may find me in the Plank position for the foreseeable future.

Cotton Wool

5.45 am, my alarm goes off. Even before I hit the snooze button I knew I was high. I usually doze for the 9 minutes until the alarm goes off again (stupid thing is like a klaxon, seriously loud!) but I couldn’t this time.

(I went for a run last night and so reduced my eening bolus. Bedtime was 8.2 so I saw no problem but clearly reduced the bolus too far. Practice makes perfect! Unless its diabetes and then there is no perfect!)

My mouth felt dry and horrible. It was like I had filled with the cotton wool before I went to bed and just left it there. I got up to brush my teeth but it didn’t seem to help at all. Bleugh. Here I am, an hour and a half later, still feeling bleugh and debating the correction I’ve taken and whether it was the right call. Based on my ISF, I bolused an extra 0.5u with my breakfast dose. On a normal day that would be ok probably, I would expect to settle in the region of 6.5-7.

Today, though, I have a busy morning of meetings. Unlike most people, by BG tends to drop when I’m stressed. My mind goes into over drive thinking things through (or just flat out panicking) and that seems to drop me like a stone. So, in hindsight, maybe I should have left the high alone and let it sort itself. Every thing makes more sense in hindsight though………. I guess we’ll see how this morning plays out!

On a more cheery note, Rodney Dog has been providing hours of entertainment recently in his new tshirt. It has made going to bed a bit of a pathetic affair as he gets sent in to his crate with jammies on. He looks so ridiculous that I had to film it a few nights ago. Take a look, it’s quite “awww” worthy! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nemIzbnK63A

EDIT: I had come down to 4.9 by lunch, a bit lower than anticipated but still in range. 30 minutes later I was sporting a 2.9. Oh well!

Food Packaging

Lunch time can be a dodgy choice for me. My work gives us a lunch allowance so I don’t have to take a packed lunch in with me. That’s all great, in theory, but it can lead to some interesting carb counting errors.

We are creatures of habit I’ll admit, so in general I have 1 of about 8 things for my lunch. Assuming I eat roughly the same amount each time I find it relatively simple to count the carbs and dose for the meal.

I few times recently though, I’ve been having a sandwich. I don’t actually like bread very much, but I have been rebelling against the diet I’ve put JHogg on (which I’m subsequently having to follow at home!).

Today I opted for a (dry and tasteless) chicken, chorizo and pepper sandwich on brown bread. It looks like this at the front. Nothing wrong there right?

I tried to remember the carb count for bread, but then hey this is a packaged sandwich. So it’ll be on the packaging. I quite happily turn it over and this is what I saw.

For those who can’t zoom in enough, apparently the carbohydrate content per pack is 2.5g

This is the second occasion in the last month I have come across an error in the nutritional information on the packaging. I find this sort of thing wholly unacceptable. Some people, such as myself, rely on this information to correctly treat our conditions. Having that information incorrect is worse than not having it there at all.

I counted the carbs myself. BG was a nice and healthy 6.4 mmol/l (115) before lunch. I opted for 40g for the sandwich. The bread was big thick door step slices so I had assumed 20 per slices (carbs and cals indicated that wasn’t unreasonable!). Two hours later I am 6.1 mmol/l (109) and dropping, I have another 2 hours of “active insulin”. I need to try and negotiate a snack. This doesn’t help with the diet!

What is frustrating was all fairly avoidable. Had the nutritional information been correct I wouldn’t have been SWAG-ing lunch. I am going to contact the sandwich provider to try and explain. I understand mistakes happen, that is why I shrugged it off the first time. Twice in 1 month, however, is not acceptable. Complaining (actual complaining for a purpose, not my standard moaning) is not in my nature. I find it awkward and I feel very unsure of myself. If anyone has any advice on the best approach please let me know!

On this occasion I feel I have to stand my ground.

Easter Weekend

Monday morning strikes again!

I’ve had a busy weekend, I don’t really know where the time went. Due to the nature of the industry I work in Bank Holidays are not days off for us, we all have to come in anyway. So while most of the country was enjoying freedom on Friday I was at my desk, grumbling.

On Friday night we went to the Music Hall for “an evening of movies and musicals”. I was a band geek for many years, but unfortunately I haven’t played since I was diagnosed. I put a cheery face on diabetes as much as I can, but the reality is it’s a massive change to your life. I had a new job, new house, new puppy and suddenly a new medical condition. The clarinet went to the back of my priorities.

Friday night reminded me how much I enjoyed it. Aside from the fun of actually playing, I miss the social aspect. I had many friends when I was active in the music scene which I had lost touch with. It’s time to think of a way to get back into it!

I made another attempt at 5K on Saturday, shaving 30s off the time. I then navigated a BBQ fairly successfully. I reduced the bolus to account for my BG dropping as a result of the exercise a few hours before and that seemed to do the trick! 8.7 pre and 8.8 four hours after. It is a touch out of range but I was still happy.

Easter Sunday with both sets of family’s yesterday and back to work again this morning. Big yawns all round!

Breakfast Dilema

6.45am, I’m at my desk and about to get some breakfast.

Stomach: Come ON Kim, move it! I’m starving, time to have that bacon roll!

Head: No no no. you have that porridge in your drawer remember? With raisins and nuts in it? You brought it specially!

Stomach: We don’t have time for porridge this morning. Waaaaay too hungry to wait for that. The canteen is nice and quick. You could have a hashbrown with the bacon too!

Head: Kim remember your BG. We all know the white bread in the roll doesn’t agree with you. Porridge is nice and slow, it won’t spike you as badly.

Stomach: Now is not the time to be worrying about BG. Plus, if you bolus now it will have 10 minutes to get going before you eat. That will help with the spike!

Head: You weren’t thrilled with your last hbA1C, this is why! Eat the porridge, you could even have a nice apple with it! You like apples don’t you? Apples and porridge are on your diet plan, bacon and bread are not.

Stomach: Your hbA1c won’t suffer from one bacon roll, and you don’t want to be one of those girls crazy dieting to fit into their wedding dress. You haven’t even bought it yet! you’ll get the one that fits you!

Head: But if you just……

Stomach: Shut up.

Stomach won. I have no self-control.

Fur Baby

siblings and many friends are all having babies. Seriously, they’re breeding like rabbits. Even the consultant at my hospital has encouraged me to have kids asap because it will be easier since I don’t have any complications “yet”. Thanks for the vote of confidence there doc! I may love kids and I may be engaged, but I’m not ready to jump onto that band wagon quite yet.

So instead I have my fur baby. Rodney is my best pal (sorry, of course I meant 2nd best pal JHogg….). He’s about 18 months old now. I only had him for 2 months prior to diagnosis so I’ve almost had diabetes his entire life.

I love walking him (ok maybe not so much in the rain), we wander around the park or the beach or climb a munro and its some one on one time with JHogg to talk without technology distractions. We both wear glasses so we spend an unhealthy amount of time putting glasses on Rodney so he doesn’t feel left out.

Last night, however we possibly took the care of our fur baby too far. Rodney has eczema. Every dog any one in my family has ever owned has a medical condition. 3 with blocked tear ducts, one with gingivitis, 2 with heart murmurs, 1 with arthritis, 1 with a dislocating back leg (eventually lead to amputation) and 1 (now 2) with eczema. 6 different conditions, 5 dogs, all still alive and bankrupting us with vet bills!

Rodneys eczema has come up recently so I’m trying various treatments. We’re changing his food, washed his blankets in hypoallergenic powder and got creams to put on him. He takes an antihistamine to help with the itching (the irony that it is used for pet allergies is not lost on me). But, for now, he is still scratching. Last night I was concerned about him scratching until he bleeds in his crate. So I put a tshirt on him so he didn’t have access…….

Maybe I should remember he’s a dog!

Wordless Wednesday